Kaffekokarkokboken

Ett experiment i kokkonst

Swedish fika: Seven types of coffee maker made cookies

Ooops! I realized that I don't even have the ingredients for this recipe. You'll have to ask Maria (whom I did this recipe with) for that. I guess it's just an ordinary shortcrust. Anyway the ingredients aren't as important as looks and execution. And I'll tell you all about that in this blog post.

 

Sju sorters kakor (seven kinds of cookies) is as Swedish as moose hunting, lingonberries (<- coffee maker made recipe for lingonberry ice-cream), midsummer, clogs, semla (<- coffee maker made recipe for semla), the Skarsgård family, Prinsesstårta (<- coffee maker made recipe for prinsesstårta), Absolut Vodka, Astrid Lindgren IKEA, the word "lagom", snus, knäckebröd (<- coffee maker made recipe for knäckeböd), talking about the weather, meatballs (<- coffee maker made recipe for meatballs), fika, Systembolaget and royalties with dyslexia. 

 

I don't know anything about the history for Sju sorters kakor either, and once again I don't care. I know it's supposed to be seven kinds of different cookies that you have on your fika and then everybody is happy.

 

These are my seven cookies I want to invite you for on a fika.

 

 

Shit. This recipe is so much more fun in Swedish. Now you have to learn the Swedish names for the different cookies. You learned the word Smörgåsbord so you'll manage. Cookie = kaka. 

 

Mögelkaka: Mold cookie

Kattbajskaka: Cat poop cookie

Pacmankaka: Pac man cookie

Finska finnar (Finska pinnar is a traditional cookie): Finnish pimples

Kondylomkaka: Condyloma cookie

Mardrömmar (Drömmar is also a traditional one): Nightmares (drömmar= dreams)

Moderkaka: Placenta

 

Time

30 minutes/cookie

 

Instructions

Mix all the different cookie ingredients. Prepare the cookies as they should be prepared (see below) and put them on the coffee maker heater. Let them coffee maker bake until they are baked properly. Don't forget to turn off your coffee maker when you are done baking!

 

Which one do you prefer?

 

Let's start with the preparations of the Mögelkaka.

 

Mögelkaka = Mold cake

The ingredients are oatmeal, sugar and butter. Mix them together and add just a few drops of blue caramel color. Stir a little and tadaaa! It looks just like mold. 

 

Doesn't it like it has molded? 

 

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Kattbajs kaka = Cat poop cookies

These are shortcrust cookies + cacao (+ hair). Gucci was my inspiration for this recipe. You know when cats accidentally eats hair a turd might hang out from the anus because of the hair that's still inside. And the cats panic because somethings chasing them... Gucci does that quite often. Ha! Poor cat. 

 

Can you see the hair? 

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Pacman kaka = Pac man cookie

Also shortcrust. Some of it with cacao and some of it without. The eye is a corinth. 

 

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Finska finnar = Finnish pimples

Shortcrust + glaze + caramel color = Finnish pimples. 

 

Finnish pimples are those tiny ones. 

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Kondylomkakor = Condyloma cookies

Aren't these cookies cute? I told you that Maria is a bake pro and she made these little cookies look just like small vaginas. Small vaginas with condyloma. Only using shortcrust, some cacao, caramel color and glaze. 

 

Before condyloma outbreak.

 

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Mardrömmar = Nightmares

Google recipe for "Drömmar" and add cacao. Then you have a nightmare cookie. This one was Maria's favorite. 

 

Zappa, with flour on nose, is photo bombing. 

 

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Moderkaka = Placenta

The Moderkaka is not at all a traditional 7 sorters kaka. Okey, none of the above are but the other ones are at least based on the same ingredients as traditional ones. The Moderkaka is harder to find but just ask the nearest hospital/pregnant friend or vet and you might get lucky. 

 

Tip: Cook the Moderkaka last. 

 

If you don't want to have these weird cookies on a normal fika, they might be more suitable for a halloween fika?

 

Photo: Dan Sörensen. 

 

Näe men Katja... Moderkaka... Usch!!
Fast jag måste erkänna att jag skrattade.
Kul idé och helt i stil med tonen på bloggen!

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